OMG, Ebola is FREAKING me out

I sit at work all day and read the news. Article after article after article. My heart starts to race, I start to feel a little nauseous, then I start shutting down the internet windows and talking myself out of a panic attack because it’s just not worth it. I can’t live my life in fear of ebola right now, I have too many other things to worry about, and worry won’t fix anything.

But preparedness will at least definitely help! So I found this website: It has some super helpful information on it, I haven’t read through it all because of said anxiety though.

Ugh. Anxiety and panic attacks. I used to wonder, privately, if that was a real thing or if people were just excessive drama queens. Naturally, I wondered this because I had never experienced it myself nor seen anyone else experience it. If you’re reading this and offended by my complete ignorance, I apologize in advance. However, in the last 2 years, due to the compound stress of divorcing my husband AND continuing to work with him in the same building, I think I have sadly experienced it for myself, albeit mildly.

I remember the very first time it happened too. I had kissed someone. The first kiss I shared with someone other than The Ex in 4 years. I was totally freaking out in my head for near two months afterward, does this guy like me? Do I like him? Will it go anywhere? (Keep in mind, it was JUST a kiss, no hanky panky or anything inappropriate.)  I look back at it now and wonder why on earth I even cared if he liked me, it was just a kiss and ultimately I couldn’t have cared less if “it” went anywhere. It was more of a milestone, yet another declaration of independence from the past and a sign of moving on. But whatever the psychology behind my motivations, for many weeks afterwards every time I thought about that kiss my heart would race, I would feel incredibly nervous and start getting sick to my stomach, I’d start breathing faster, I wanted to burst into tears and run to the bathroom and hide. I would sit at my desk and tell myself to get a grip, and ask myself what the hell am I nervous about right now? Why am I scared? It literally felt like the adrenaline rush of dread you get when you watch a scary movie and you know someone or something is about to turn the corner and see something horrible, or get hacked to pieces. Now for me, all of what I felt was pretty much on the same level of….I don’t know how to articulate it…the feeling of panic and anxiety consumed me at about the same percentage as watching a scary movie alone or stage fright would, so let’s say 25-30% of me.  I could sit there and make myself breathe in, breathe out, and calm down. There was never a rational or logical explanation for why I would suddenly start to panic about absolutely nothing, but I could at least rationally tell myself it was about absolutely nothing, so CHILL out. Each time it took 15 minutes or so for me to stop feeling that way, but eventually it faded out from a near daily occurrence to a weekly one, to not at all.

And now reading about ebola makes me feel the same way. But I refuse to get on anti-anxiety meds, because to me that would be a silly and paranoid response to a rational reaction I am having to a very real and legitimate infectious disease that could be and probably is developing into an out-of-control crisis in our country. Second of all because I don’t think I really have a problem, but that is all besides the point of my post right now.


Ok, so maybe I do need anxiety meds…but no, because I read that North Americans are especially vulnerable to it because we, as a nation, have an unhealthy diet and take prescriptions (pushed or forced on us by doctors) that suppress our immune system. So basically, we have more unfit and unhealthy people with weak immunity than we do people who are fit, healthy, and have strong immune systems. Uh, yeah, sounds like we’ll all catch Ebola and die pretty quickly. I myself am overweight and unfit, but I avoid taking medicine for virtually everything and I hardly get sick so maybe I have a good immune system going for me.


Uhhh, what?? But wait, that’s not really too big of a deal, I mean, HIV is patented too. But wait again, you say the US gov owns both patents? I’m guessing they own quite a few patents on infectious diseases, that way they can make the most money off it when they “invent” a cure. US20120251502 is the patent for Ebola, granted by Uncle Sam, to Uncle Sam. Here’s what it ultimately boils down to: Ebola is considered the government’s property, intellectually and physically. If you catch it, you are illegally reproducing, copying, and multiplying their property (because that’s what viruses do, reproduce, copy and multiply), so they will have the right to arrest and quarantine you for involuntarily becoming sick with their property, and then forcing you to be subject to any and all scientific research and experimentation they choose. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but it does make sense to me that things which are invented are thusly patented. Why would Uncle Sam patent ebola?? Read that article, I thought it was pretty convincing. This one too on NaturalNews.


I read that for every 1 case of Ebola, it generates 1.5 – 2 other cases with 3-4 weeks. Holy shitballs folks, do the math on this one and it’s scary. CDC Director Tom Frieden was quoted in this article as saying “We do not anticipate this will spread in the U.S. if an infected person is hospitalized here.”  That was in July of 2014, now we’re in October and there are 2 person-to-person transmission cases of Ebola in less than one month. They were supposedly following CDC protocols on handling an Ebola-infected patient, and if they weren’t then I’m sure it’s not because they willfully chose to disobey. Who would do that?? Who would say – sure, I’ll risk my life and try and infect myself on purpose for the fun of it. Yeah, not likely. If they broke protocols it was because they weren’t informed or trained on the protocols, or because there weren’t any to begin with.

I’m not trying to be a fear monger here. Maybe it’s a giant well scripted conspiracy by the US gov and the billion-dollar pharmaceutical industry to infect the US with Ebola and miraculously develop a cure available to humans. Maybe it was purely an accident and the government’s predisposition for stupidity just complicated things. Maybe it won’t spread all over the US like wildfire. I hope not, because it scares me. I have to stop thinking about it. 🙂


What do you think about all that?

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