I recently had ACL reconstruction surgery on my knee. During my recovery time one of my best friends dropped in to visit. She’s Catholic and married to a man who was raised Jehovah’s Witness but has now decided he’s an atheist. My mom was staying with me for a few weeks to help me out (I couldn’t get out of bed without help, it really was just pure misery). Somehow the topic of creation and faith came up. You can imagine the mix of viewpoints, Catholic, Atheist, Universalist – and me, silent…to make a long story short, he posed this question to me:
“You’re a mom, how old is your son? (4) Imagine there is a busy highway right outside of your front door. Would you go open your front door, point out to your son hey, do you see that highway? Now don’t go out there because you’ll die, and then just walk away with the door wide open, leaving him alone?”
Well no…of course I wouldn’t do that.
“So why did God? Because that’s basically what he did, he said hey, do you see that tree of the knowledge of good and evil? Well don’t eat anything from it because if you do you will die.”
And the difference here is uhhh, well God created that tree. He planted it and watered it. I didn’t create the highway. Just think about that later. For the first time in my life I’ve seriously been wondering about the purpose of creation. It’s not that it never occurred to me to question before, I just didn’t care enough. I wasn’t that curious.
I don’t doubt that there is a God, I simply doubt how much He truly loves us. And I’m wondering why in the hell everyone (Christians really) tells you that you have to LOVE him, and talk to him, and pray to him, and have a relationship with him, why? If someone said hey, God is mean and sadistic, deal with it. Well ok, I can. But when they say, look he’s really just a big jerk up in the sky but you have to love him like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, love him like you do your own mom and dad, well that doesn’t make sense to me.
He gets all of the glory and none of the blame. War, famine, disease, death, somehow this is all OUR fault but not God’s? I know I’m not the first person to ask these questions, to doubt. I’m not articulate and I’m sure I sound petty and ignorant and maybe even silly in the way I express all of this. So what. It’s been on my mind pretty heavily for about a month now, when I never really gave it more than five minutes worth of consideration before.
The Problem of Pain / C.S. Lewis
The Great Divorce / C.S. Lewis
The Question of God / Armand Nicholi
Any other recommended reads?