When you say the title in your head, use a little voice. Like Disney maybe. Like a little toad, all toady looking, in a little mauve dress with oversized pearls on, standing guard over the great unwashed as they filter through her line, “next.”
I’ve been mulling over the idea of rewriting the pages on this site. (about/the divorce/times of my life.) But I haven’t because I kinda can’t be bothered. I feel like a much different person from who I was when I started this blog. And it’s only been three years. Ummm…I think three? Could be maybe four. Who knows? Who cares?
See. Can’t be bothered. I suppose that’s okay though. I’m okay with it. If only a past were as easy to erase as a couple of webpages. But I think I am comfortable with all of the roads that brought me to here. And I feel pretty confident about all the roads ahead. I can confidently say that in ignorance, because if any of those roads are painful I don’t know about it yet and can’t feel it yet, might as well not worry. Maybe one day I’ll rue this post; I might look back and think “Oh, if only I knew how shitty life was about to get!” In fact I think I won’t though. The older I get the more I believe and see God’s purpose unfolding behind everything. I can look back at the times when I hit my knees and begged for a way out, and see how things were lining up even then to bear fruit today. And it makes me wonder about the things that are lining up right this minute to bear fruit in the next five years. They are going to be good things. Awesome things!
I don’t want to overthink about why I started this blog and what I wanted it to be or blah blah blah. (Use your best Gru voice.) I don’t even really remember but trying to think about it, and then rewrite it, and repurpose my silly blog…all of that is just more ping-pongness in my head. Too many ideas for it should be, or what it could be. It just is already and so whatever. Next.
I realized yesterday, or maybe two days ago, that I am a millennial. Shit.
I read somewhere that millennials are all those born from 1982 to 2000-something. I stopped remembering what it said after 1982 because I was born in 1983, so any dates thereafter were irrelevant, lol. I talk poo about millennials all the time because my baby brother is one so I can, haha! Just kidding. I talk poo because I know plenty of people who fit the criteria, and the good, the bad, and the ugly – it’s all true what they say about them. About millennials. Except for me. Only some of it is true for me, you see. The good. The part I read about having “life talk” at work. I do that all the time. And the part about having lasting friendships that start at work and how they spend time with those friends discussing a work-life balance. And the part about how their identity is not wrapped up in their job as much as it is in their satisfaction with this work-life balance. Like, they are their life and not just their job. And how they use the word ‘like’.
I think those are good things and I do all of them. Overusing that horrible, stupid word is not a good thing but I can’t help myself. It just slips in, like a ninja. So I’ve got to find that article again and link to it. Maybe it wasn’t an article….maybe it was my textbook for my online class. Who knows? Right now I don’t care. I should be in bed. It’s midnight. I like looking at my Christmas tree with all the rest of the lights off though.
I tried something different with our tree this year. It’s just lights thumbtacked to the wall. I heard there was a Christmas Tree shortage. They don’t just cut them down in the forest you know, they are farmed. And so ten years ago or so, maybe more or less (how long does it take to grow a good size xmas tree??) they didn’t plant enough. The current harvest is less then the demand, which makes them a little more expensive. This is all what I heard anyway. Don’t take it from me. I live in NM. There’s probably no such thing as a Christmas Tree shortage somewhere else.
But anyway, I like it. 🙂
P.S. Being a millennial and seeing the evidence of God’s purpose(s) unfold in my life are completely unrelated, by the way. I am quite sure it is not his purpose that I be 100% a millennial. I’m okay with partial. Just saying.
P.P.S. Our perception becomes our reality which becomes our truth.